“The Eyes of my Past are looking anxiously to break into my new future … for to break into my new future would bring me the utmost relief … no longer holding my breath … no longer feeling a wicked suspense constantly hovering over me … where the Air is Still and the Silence carries an ever anxious atmosphere … pulsating with an incoming make or break moment. 

See, it’s one thing to move forward; to leap ahead; but it’s another thing to feel your past constantly chasing you to get to your future. Part of you feels like you cannot ever slow down until you get there - and you feel the hardness of it; like you would be punished for slowing down; for wanting to slow down. It’s a lot; a lot of what I’ve been quietly feeling - that quiet background music that no one else can hear.”

“She hates it; doesn’t understand how part of Her feels so easily fragile - that Love has become this thing that is so hard to catch a hold of. So easily fragile - that Love has barely showed up for her and left so often. Left so often - and leaves a hole inside of her heart every time. Leaves a hole inside of her heart - breaks her apart and breaks her down. As if her heart had only ever known Love that leaves and shatters you into pieces when it leaves. Shatters her into pieces when it leaves - and while her heart feels accustomed to the whole debacle - she still wants to reach out to it; hold on to it and just beg it to stay. Just beg it to stay for once and yet still hoping that Love would stay without being asked too. In her heart’s fragility - she is pleading, begging, for it to stay with her. For once, that It would hold to Her as She has wanted to hold to It. That’s the Story of Love that has lived inside of Her Heart for some time now.“

“It’s interesting you know - waking up everyday and being able to express in my writing - what I’m feeling; what’s real for me here and now, inside of my heart - it’s like turning myself inside out. I’m not hidden from myself; I’m not a secret to myself - I’m not harboring any secrets from myself. It’s like there’s no part of me that feels the need to retreat or recoil within myself … anymore. 

I guess that I did keep parts of myself hidden. I retreated and recoiled within myself to make sense of certain things. But I feel so much more alive expressing the realness of what I feel in its entirety, here and now - like I am not withholding any part of myself from me.”

“She wants to say that it’s easier than it looks - because of who he is; because of everything that he already is. A perfect canvas - it’s just that along the way Life put its muddy handprints all over it and it got really hard to see the original painting again. 

She just wants to throw that muddied canvas into Her Waters and watch how effortlessly; how easily - he can see himself again; in ways that he never thought that he would see himself again.”

“I’d say the other significant thing that my Jewel of Creation has taught me - is putting mySelf first; putting my Heart and Happiness first. There was a time where I felt like being a Vessel to this Jewel of Creation was of utmost priority but after sometime of putting that first constantly, it exhausted me. I would feel that bringing to Life this Clarity was a matter of life or death for me - which I know sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s the heaviness that I placed on it.”

“This week, it almost feels like that prior heaviness and darkness has been getting a first hand look at this New Lightness - seeing and really feeling and connecting to all the ways that I have changed.”

“The Eyes of Empty-ness hold a poisonous gaze if you stare into it for too long.

Poisonous because it has the potential to turn your absolute Sense of Self upside down. 

Making your heart question the very nature of your Self; that which is unquestionable in the Eyes of the Absolute. 

Self-Esteem; Self-Worth

You, who are of; You, who are the Highest-Esteemed; the Highest Worth”

“See, I know my Complete-ness and in that World of Complete-ness - I am experiencing the Stability of Life; I am experiencing the Abundance of mySelf; I am experiencing the Power of my Presence and Present moment - Creating.”

“The divine holding ItSelf. “

In the aftermath of all her Chaos

All Her Turmoil

All of It

She walked out of it and there was the Absolute Purity of HerSelf 

Alive inside of those Eyes of His 

“Lately, she’s been feeling it in her heart

Plastered on her heart

Written all over her body

All the Ways that has to put herself first”

Don’t miss the point of all of this - God is Here; God is now inside of your heart. God is creating all the ways for you to find your way. God is creating all the ways to fill your heart again. God is relentlessly reviving the hope within you. 

Don’t miss the point of all of this. And so what, so what if you’ve given up on finding your way. There is something that never takes its Eye off of you; something that never leaves your heart; something that is there taking care of you; something that is holding you. And sometimes that’s all that matters. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that really matters.

"Beyond the ‘different faces’ - of stories and narrative and perceptions; Beyond the lights and darknesses of my World - It all comes back to the Absolute Core of WHO I AM."

"LOVE took its time with HER - everyday … LOVE showed up in small increments … but small increments of LOVE, INFINITE - potent and concentrated in its tiny doses; She would resist and welcome it in the same breath; embrace it wholly and push it away in one movement"

"For there is not a single moment in the Existence of the Soul that it is not Loved."

"To walk these terrains - it is not the Pure-ness and Raw-ness of Divinity flowing through thee;

It is the Traveler walking with the Clay of Divinity in Her Very Hands playing with it"

"The Human Self recognises its Innate God Nature; 

And asks ItSelf,

“What God walks around wanting to be enough; 

What God walks around in fear of its own Creations;

What God walks Its Own Path in fear of Being ItSelf”

"When I lay down this PRESSURE, when it is put to REST - I am saying to myself that the battle is done. When I say that the battle is done, I will start putting those weapons down - the tenacity that I lived with in the past; the fires that erupted from within my heart to let me know that there was TRUTH burning within me - that needed to spread; the Will - that felt like the Vitality of the Gods. So saying that this Pressure is to be no more - is saying that a huge part of who I was; a huge part of my experience is no more. And that’s not the easiest thing to accept is it; it’s not the easiest thing to relinquish, is it?"

"But, don’t you deserve to look through Your Own Eyes and see it all for YourSelf; 

To soar through These Open Skies of your Existence 

With your Own Eyes KNOWING the Way of Your Heart; of Your Soul; of Your Path; of You."

"In the midst of it all - while I developed a certain sense of comfort in the flow - I knew it wasn’t my Home. I knew that it wasn’t quite where I belonged in my Life. And yet, it has encompassed a plethora of experiences that were building, transforming and layering my Home, my Life."